Saturday, July 25, 2009

love gone......................................SOUR

i tot it was always gonna be like that,till we get married or somtin(just imagine me......thinkin of marriage at was just a match made from the heavens.I neva wanted to let go.....and fear of loosing her was just a major concern.i loved her so much nd her response couldnt av made me happier.We just had fun nd took it as it came.She told me she wouldnt leave me for no reason nd i was just so happy to hear that........buh before i knew it she was gone nd the the then turnin hatred.
I met her just som yrs bac.....we became frnds like it was just a choice.we neva really liked each other nd all that cos she often refered to me as a sisi,game freak nd a book boy(wat nonsense).....truly i neva liked girls bac then nd i just saw her like a normal person.we did the frnd thingy for a while buh often ended as fussin nd fightin(omg......cant bliv i was like that som yrs bac).didnt see her for a while cos i was away in no man's land.......nd anytime i got bac she was away too.Buh as fate would av it we met after a while.she was looking all grown up nd preety(like she's bin preety all this while ,i was just too blind to hav noticed).Now i liked her nd i wanted us to be close frnds...not even frnds.Buh shortly after she said she was gonna be away again.........truly i was sad buh was glad to hear she was gonna be bac soon.i was always a constant companion....nd i talked to her on the fone all the time.Soon enuf she was bac nd i was always knocking on her door.we became really cool frnds nd always hung really went on and on nd emotions came in.Soon we became lovers......nd the bond just got stronger.MEHN......AM NOT WRITING A POEM,THIS IS FOR REAL.she was always ther nd was the most lovin person i had ever known,we had fun nd we neva wanted this union to come off short.A time to be apart came again nd now she was gone......i tot she was gonna be bac buh this time she was gone for real.
Now am trying so hard,so sad when love dies and you wonder if you could av prevented it.slipping through your fingerprints nd love's left me cold.bewildered and alone and no hearts loves already gone nd i just keep hoping it rises again.nd i just keep floating this stupid impossible just trying to end the useless questions of when and why,and i still think shes here buh not wit me....nd somtimes shes really kind to me buh it all seems wasted like it doesnt touch my heart,somtin has nt sure if its just now or forever.i could just tell her am sorry nd stufs nd take all the guilt buh to be honest the only thing am sorry about is all the time we wasted(i gonna be angerd all the time.....only if we make up.nd dats just almost imposible).since we seperated av just bin me,nd av bin learning to love myself.nd wat hurts me most is i just stay some nights,thinkin of her,nd how the love was new,the sound of her voice,the touch of her hand,the hours we spent,makin plans(often told each other we wer gonna get mrried),all the making outs nd how we wer really close to each other.I always heard that love is blind buh its deaf nd dumb too cos if i had seen nd known this was how its gonna end...maybe i ld neva av goten into this.i think this love just sucks now.she even did some checks on me buh now,no conversations nd it shouldnt take a mystic revelation for me to understand it just meant to be this way.MEHN CANT BLIV AM WRITIN ALL THIS STUFS.and am just writin this for her.....hope she reads.i know its not bin good for long time now,it doesnt get any mata how we both try hard,we just argue and disagree.You want ur way nd duh! i want mine.wer living seperate lives,wer not in deep kinda lets just be frnds,our love mite still work in the future.but u mean too much to turn my back nd walk away.our lives can still touch in a friendly sort of way.i can promise to be ther if u ever need a friend buh i cant promise if its eva gonna be more than that.BFF
this is the realest stuf i ever thought in my mind.......nd am so tellin her.midnite write ups.

No comments:

Post a Comment